Tales from the UTAU Crypt
by VocaloidWriter
Summary: Vocaloids get a ton of attention, but what happens to UTAUs? These chapters drag you into the life of an UTAU. Thanks for reading!
1. A Visit

A Visit - A UTAU Fanfic

Nana is the POV

I knock on the door. I wait a minute and get no answer. I knock again. This time, I hear a scream from inside. After the scream, a smiling face greets me. It's a girl, she looks about fifteen, and has pinkish-red, curly pigtails that resemble drills. "Hello!" The person tells me. "I shake you warmly by the hand!"* She holds out her hand. "My name is Nana Macne. I didn't catch yours." I say. "Oops! I forgot! My name is Teto Kasane. You must be new, right?" The person says. "Yes," I say. "So, what was that"- A scream interrupts my sentence. "Sorry," Teto says. "Have you heard of Len Kagamine? Well, someone in the house is a yandere, crazy over him." I nod my head. I step into the house to find things scattered over the floor. "This is Ruko," Teto says as she points to a girl hiding under the couch. "It's Tei!" Ruko says. "Then my brother, Ted." Teto points to a boy, a lot like her. I look over near the couch to see a Len Kagamine Nendroid. One tap and I'm confronted by a maniac. "Hello! My name is Tei Sukone! You touched Len Kagamine! Prepare to die!"* The maniac yells. 'That was a very warm welcome,' I think sarcastically. She takes out a cucumber and wields it like a sword. She threw herself at me. As I prepared to die, she is forced back. "Ritsu!" Teto and Ted cheer. A girl steps over Tei in triumph. "Thank you, miss," I say. "Careful," Ted says. "He's a trap." "HE?" I say. "I'm a crossdresser. Just call me Ritsu." The, I guess, boy, says. I was shuddering. I was meeting new people in less than five minutes. "You might wanna hide," Ritsu says. "Tei won't stay down much longer. Find a closet, people!" I team up with Teto, since I've known her the longest. She finds a closet in her room and signals me to come in. After I'm in, Teto shuts the door and no light is seen. I moved back and feel metal. I realized there was a trapdoor. "Gosh, Teto, is this a shoe chamber?!" I ask. "No, it connects the closets. Tei doesn't know because when stuff like this happens, we need them." A knock comes from underneath my feet. I move and the trapdoor flies open. Two girls, one who looks like she is a maid and the other with purple hair, climb in. "Teto," The maid says, dazed. "We just got home and realized Tei was having a breakdown!" "Yes, it was scary," The purple haired girl says, also very dazed. "Defoko, purple girl, Momo, maid." Teto made it short and simple. "This is Nana," "Hey, nice to meet you!" I say. We whisper about what is going on until:

Thump, thump, thump!

I realize it could only be Tei. Momo reaches the latch on the trapdoor. She pulls it up and three of us climb in. Teto pulls over a dress, putting it on top of the door, then gets in. When we shut it, it's pitch black. But suddenly, a light comes on. I jump up. I realize something: Teto's "drills" are so red that they are basically a light. I also remember my green outfit has some lit up parts. As the lights are glowing, I see tunnels and paths and trapdoors. We go down about eight feet when I see a sign. It says:

THIRD FLOOR CLOSET

Inside: Ted

"We found Ted!" Teto says. She goes up to the trapdoor and knocks. "Ted! It's me, Teto!" Teto whispers. "Confirm it," Ted whispers back. Then, Teto sings,

"French bread,

French bread,

It's so fun,

French bread,

French bread,

Yum, yum, yum!"

"Access granted," Ted says. Teto opens the trapdoor.

Thump, thump, thump!

It got louder and faster. "Tei is coming!" Teto whispers. She signals Ted to come with us. We run down the tunnel. Then we reach it:

SECOND FLOOR CLOSET

Inside: Ritsu

We knock on the trapdoor and get Ritsu to come with us. Then, Teto makes us go down a ladder. I've never had so much excitement before! At the bottom, I see another sign:

UNDER THE COUCH

(RUKO TERRITORY)

ONLY USE IF NEEDED

Teto knocks. "Ruko, emergency!" She whispers. Ruko says nothing, but lets us in. The couch is much bigger underneath. The six of us are under the couch. This is probably the weirdest encounter ever, because normally you wouldn't be shaking under the couch with five other people whom you are going to live with and hiding from a maniac that you will also live with in ten minutes. It was weird enough when I learned Ritsu would crossdress, but there is one thing that caught my eye: even though they have huge tunnels on the sides of the house, on the outside it looks like a normal house. Of course, this is the Internet world; optical illusions are everywhere. "Nana!" Ruko whisper-yells. I turn my attention to Ruko. "Be careful when you see Tei. She always has a CUCUMBER." "What's so bad about her cucumber?" I say. Everyone lays their eyes on me in horror, like I was serial killer ready to kill the whole world. Teto shivers as she turns all white. "S-s-she… please, don't do that Tei! Stop! Len wouldn't do that! STOP!" She whisper-yells in horror. Ted hands her some French bread. "Teto was traumatized by Tei when she found Tei, um,"-he gulps-"take the cucumber and, um,"-he gulps again, this time shivering-"started to masturbate." I gag, but make sure I'm not heard.

Thump, thump, thump!

Tei's footsteps pound the ground. "Rapunzul, it's your turn!"* Teto whisper-commands. Ted, shivering, goes through the trapdoor and goes into a closet. We wait five minutes before Ted comes out. He wields a thick French bread stick, meanwhile Tei uses the cucumber. At this point, it's life or death. "Hello, Ted," Tei says calmly. "Your Model 7 friend"-my model is 7-"touched Len. Do you wish any last words?" "Yes," Ted says. He pulls out from behind his back a Tei Nendroid. "This is the only Tei Nendroid ever made. The company made it just for you. Now, take them and put them together." "Yay!" Tei squeals. She runs upstairs into her room. We come out. "Well, Nana, welcome to our family!" Teto says. We all go in for a hug. "I love you guys," I say.

Well, that's it for my story. I love my UTAU family very much. It's kinda nice, lemme explain this next part. Sara and Sora are our Rin and Len, Teto is our Miku, Ruko is our Luka, Ritsu is our Meiko, Ted is our Kaito, and I'm their Gumi. Though I guess Tei could be Zatsune Miku, and Iori could be Gakupo. Anyways, there are always more stories from the UTAU Crypt... stay tuned!

A/N: OMG, that took me two months! I kinda liked some action and how the main UTAUs were introduced. Nana is the person of view (POV), so this is kinda new. If you didn't get it, Nana is a new UTAU and is coming for a "visit" She meets many new people she comes to love as her new family. BTW, the "say" instead of "said" might confuse. In the beginning, "say" and "said" were everywhere, so I chose "say" I hope you enjoy! [Appendix Under]

APPENDIX

"I shake you warmly by the hand!" Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. If you don't know this, start watching it.

"Hello! My name is Tei Sukone! You touched Len Kagamine! Prepare to die!" The Princess Bride, another movie. Originally said by Indigo Montoya, "Hello! My name is Indigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!" He said it to the six-fingered man, whom killed his father while he was young. I demand you to watch it, you'll love it.

"Rapunzul, it's your turn!" Teto is referencing to Ted's long hair. There's a backstory: Whenever Tei was on a rampage, someone had to stop her. Everyone took a turn, and this time it was Ted's turn.


	2. AIM Messages

AIM Messages - A UTAU Fanfic

Teto is the POV

FrenchyBreadTeto joined the conversation.

NyanMomo: Heyyyyyyyyyyyy!

RukoIsUnderTheCouch Wassup?

FrenchyBreadTeto: Not much.

ChimeraTed: Why do you sound sad?

RitsuThatGuyYouKnow: Yeah, what Ted said. Hey, that rhymes!

ChimeraTed: Shut up, Sherlock. No shit.

TeiLikesLen joined the conversation.

TeiLikesLen: …¶

NyanMomo: How did she type that?!

RukoIsUnderTheCouch: I dunno.

FrenchyBreadTeto: She's Tei, who knows.

SoraIsAwesome joined the conversation.

SoraIsAwesome: Guess who got ¥10,000?

RitsuThatGuyYouKnow: Your face?

ChimeraTed: Once again, no shit Sherlock.

RitsuThatGuyYouKnow: Thanks, Captain Obvious. Did you know Captain Morgans is still the better captain?

RukoIsUnderTheCouch: You, Sora, you.

SoraIsAwesome: Yep.

SaraIsAwesomer joined the conversation.

SoraIsAwesome: Life hacks; Sara uses them.

TeiLikesLen: …¶

NyanMomo: She did it again!

SaraIsAwesomer: She bought the new keyboard, with those awesome features. ¶

ChimeraTed: Damnit. The line was too long when I tried. Lemme try again.

ChimeraTed left the conversation.

RitsuThatGuyYouKnow: I'll follow him.

RitsuThatGuyYouKnow left the conversation.

TeiLikesLen left the conversation.

SaraIsAwesomer left the conversation.

FrenchyBreadTeto: We have me, Ruko, Momo, Sora, that makes four.

SoraIsAwesome left the conversation.

RukoIsUnderTheCouch left the conversation.

NyanMomo: Yawn. Let's get off.

FrenchyBreadTeto: Yeah, I agree.

NyanMomo left the conversation.

FrenchyBreadTeto left the conversation.

A/N: I was bored, so I made this. If you can't see, Tei and Sara type in a paragraph symbol. It's the "new keyboard" from Leek (the Vocaloid/UTAU version of Apple), and everyone needs it.


	3. First Days

First Days - A UTAU Fanfic

Nana's POV

**VocaloidWriter: Hey guys, sorry that I haven't uploaded more UTAU fanfics! I was busy with Thanksgiving Memories, and the UTAU family is there for Thanksgiving, so read it! Also, I'm working on A Princess in Hiding (for the UTAU fans, it features Teto and Ritsu and introduces Rui and Rei Kagene! \(^O^)/ ). Also, I'm being a grammar Nazi because instead of An UTAU Fanfic, I say A UTAU Fanfic. IT SOUNDS UNNATURAL OKAY!**

I walked down the hallway with Teto and Ritsu. "Why is your AIM username, instead of anything else you could think of, 'RitsuThatGuyYouKnow'?"* Teto asked. "You know," Ritsu replied calmly. I shivered at what I knew about Ritsu. "Well, you're still really good at singing. Your voice when you talk still sounds like your singing tone; serious like Luka's, but somewhat higher." Teto concluded. Ritsu smiled at the compliment. Sora walked over to us. "Ritsu, you were a jerk on AIM earlier."* Sora said. Ritsu, still with a smile, gave him a mighty left-handed uppercut. "And I'm a right person," She said, referencing her right hand. We laughed. Except Sora, whom was lying down on the ground, suffering pain. "Oh... pain..." I heard him mumble. "You know, Sora's AIM username should be SoraIsStupid,"* I joked. Teto and Ritsu laughed. I laughed, looking back at Sora.

_He does seem cute..._

Damnit! Cut it out, mind!

I didn't know why, but there was something special about him.

Damnit, I do like him. He's like, what, 19? And I'm 15. He's immature, but cute...

"Ritsu, that uppercut you gave him..." I eyed Sora carefully. "It was awesome, right?" Ritsu asked as she and Teto kept laughing. Teto pulled us aside. "You don't like him, do you?" Teto asked me. "No," I lied. Teto's red devil eyes looked at me, then Ritsu and Teto burst into laughter. "It would be lame if you liked that sore bum!" Ritsu laughed. "Ah," Teto said as she wiped away a tear.

I like him, I hate him. What can I say? I mean, his childish personality is what I hate - his childish personality is what I like.

Afterwards, I went to Sara, his younger sister - surely she'd help me. "Sara, I think I like your brother." I said. She slapped her knee, like they do on TV. "Him? Out of all people, _HIM_?" She hysterically laughed. "God damnit just take me seriously!"

What's up with me and the word "damnit"?

There I go again.

"Sora really likes curry and curry bread, and he might be lethargic." Sara told me. "What does that supposed to mean?" I asked. "It means he get physically tired sometimes. Someone could be lethargic under drugs or could disease." She replied. I could tell that Sara saw the look in my eyes. "But he's only done it once!" She said, shaking her hands left and right as if she were in an anime. I was somewhat relieved.

_Nana and Sora, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!_

I hate my mind.

You know, I'm gonna write a list called Ten Reasons I Hate Sora Suiga to prove to myself that I don't like him.

Eh, I'll do that later.

¹²³The Next Day³²¹

Yes, I have to admit that Sora Suiga is the Len Kagamine of UTAUs. It's sad, because that makes him the hottest.

I held some curry in my hands, along with a spoon.

_Ugh. How does he like... well, this?_

I knocked on his door and took a step back. If this spilled on me, I'd kill myself. Sora (whom had a bruise from the uppercut) came to the door. "I brought you some curry." I casually said. "Well, thanks! Ritsu's uppercuts suck." He told me. He was still under-the-weather from Ritsu. I laughed. "Ritsu can be a jerk," I concluded. He smiled. "Wanna come in?" Sora asked. "Well, sure!" I agreed.

_Damnit, why did I agree?_

I walked into his room. It's so big... I shook my head. I started to hum a random tune as I looked around. Then I changed the tune to Pocket Monsters (Pokémon) Green theme. "So, Green is your favorite?" Sora asked, in an I-already-know-more-than-you-think face. "W-w-why yes," I stuttered.

_You love him, you want to hug him, you want to kiss him!*_

Damnit, my mind is being an ass to me.

"I've heard Lavender Town, no wonder kids hated it." Sora said. "Sora, did you ever realize your name rhymes with Dora?" I asked. "And Flora, Cora, and Fora." Sora pointed out. "Your name rhymes with Hanna, Anna, and Banana, and much more." We laughed. I looked around his room. Then, it caught my eye: Super Santa Kicker 3 for XBox.

Sora's quick POV (his thoughts)

She's in my room, with curry! The two greatest things in my life are with me. This is a miracle! Wait, is she humming the Pocket Monsters Green theme? Pocket Monsters Green is my favorite game! Too bad those children went insane listening to Lavender Town... well, whatever! She was here, here with me. You know, since I am technically the Len Kagamine of UTAUs...

I'm perverted.

Nana's POV (yay!)

"Sora! Wanna play?" I asked as I pulled out the game and the controllers. "Sure!" He replied. We popped the disc in and started playing.

°·°·°·°

"Yes!" I yelled as kicked the last Santa into the chimney. "Damnit!" Sora cursed. "You beat me again!"

"Pfft," I heard someone trying to hold back their laughter. No, more people. I realized that it was Ritsu, Teto, Ted, and Sara.

_I'm so furious I could just..._

I figured out quickly that Ted was the ringleader. I went up to Ted and, with my left hand, gave him a Ritsu-styled, totally awesome, uppercut. I could tell that my uppercut was more powerful than Ritsu's, though. Ted passed out on the ground before I knew it. "Who's next?" I threatened. Ritsu and Teto ran, leaving Sara to drag Ted. "I'll give you an exception," I told Sara. "You better be out of here by ten. One, two, ten!"* Sara dragged Ted out as fast as she could, almost like the Looney Tunes roadrunner. I turned back to a confused Sora. "What did they do?" Sora asked. "Ah, I'll tell you later," I replied lustfully as I cupped his cheeks. "What? Nana? What are you gonna do?" He asked me. I pulled him in for a kiss.

"I hate the way I fell in love with you." I said.

**VocaloidWriter: Nana's a tsundere and she knows it. By the way, when she mentioned the list, there will actually be a list. It's like a MikuxLen fic. Yay for finishing this chapter! Reviews?**

APPENDIX

"Why is your AIM username, instead of anything else you could think of, 'RitsuThatGuyYouKnow'?"* - There's two references here: one happens to be from the Velveta commercial (eat, like that guy you know), and the other is Ritsu. For the big Ritsu fan, you may or may not know that Ritsu is a guy.

"Ritsu, you were a jerk on AIM earlier."* - In AIM Messages, Sora said, "Guess who found ¥10,000?" and Ritsu replied, "Your face?"

"You know, Sora's AIM username should be SoraIsStupid,"* - This is my signature meme. If you read Thanksgiving Memories, Teto calls Sora "Sora the Stupid" and he got upset.

You love him, you want to hug him, you want to kiss him!* - Miss Congeniality, movie, with Sandra Bullock and Benjamin. Sandra's character says this line to Ben's character.

"You better be out of here by ten. One, two, ten!"* - Home Alone, yet another movie reference. It's from the movie (not a real movie) Angels Without Souls (or something like that).


	4. Awkward Moments of an UTAU

Awkward Moments of an UTAU - An UTAU Fanfic

**VocaloidWriter: Thanks for the feedback! It makes me happy to come on to see good reviews and updates. Honestly, I think I've only had this fanfic for a month...but still, thanks! By the way, if you haven't noticed, Nana and Sora are my favorite UTAU pairing. I did notice some errors . Hopefully nobody noticed! You better get reading...**

_#1: When you thinks he's dead, he respawns_.

Nana had killed Sora, like it was Mortal Kombat. On the outside, she was smirking with triumph. On the inside, she was crushed. She would kill herself in a heartbeat for him. Nana fell hands and knees onto the floor, sobbing. She had lost all hope. "Nana, why are you crying?" a voice asked. Nana didn't care to look up. "I killed Sora when I really loved him!" Nana sobbed. Then, the voice tilted her chin up. "Well, I'm still here," the voice, belonging to Sora, replied. For a moment, Nana's expression was blank as she looked at Sora. Then she wept in her palms again.

"Why are you crying?"

"You're supposed to be dead!"

_#2: When your song is number one, then another song beats it_.

Teto was so happy. Her song, "Yoshiwara Lament", ranked above all songs on Nico Nico Douga. Her joy was overflowing her. "Ted!" she called her chimera brother. "Come up here, now!" As Ted was halfway up, the page refreshed. Now, Miku Hatsune's "PoPiPo" was at the top.

"So, what did you want to show me?"

"Damnit."

"What?"

"Nevermind."

_#3: When you think they're one gender, but they're something else._

Momo studied both Ritsu and Ruko carefully. They were both girls. "Ritsu..." Momo wondered aloud. "You're a girl. And Ruko, you're a girl, too." "Nope," said Ritsu. "I'm a dude." Momo mentally cursed herself. "And I'm 90% male, 10% female." Ruko said.

"Fail."

_#4: When they tell you they love you, you're speechless_.

Sora eyed his phone. Nana had texted something important.

_I love you_

Sora sat for ten minutes thinking what to reply.

_I love you too xD jk_

He hit send.

_#5: When you want to explain your feelings, you can't._

Nana was jealous of Teto, Sora's girlfriend.

_Are you okay?_

That was Sora's text.

Nana replied with:

_No, because I belong with you and not Teto. I was there for you and I defended you, but now you act like I don't exist. I love you, Sora Suiga. I really want you. You don't understand how I feel about this._

Then Nana erased it and replied with:

_I'm fine. Just family problems_.

_#6: When you tell someone you love them, but they don't take you seriously._

Nana stared at the phone for ten minutes. She had sent:

_I love you_

And Sora hadn't replied. Nana waited and thought about Sora. Did she really like him? Then:

**[1 new message from Sora Suiga]**

"Eek!" Nana yelled in excitement. She read his text:

_I love you too xD jk_

Yep, she liked him she could kiss him.

But she badly wanted to give him a Ritsu-styled uppercut she hated him so much.

_#7: When you try to help someone, but you fail_.

Ruko realized Sara was still in the burning house. Ruko noticed the coffee pot in her hand. It was destiny. Immediately, she poured the coffee on the burning house. Sara was never saved.

"Sora, you're an only child now."

"Eff yeah!"

_#8: When he acts all adorable, and you blush._

Sora was too cute today. There was no specific reason; he was just too cute. Nana couldn't help but stay around him. She could kiss him if she wanted to, but didn't. Why was he acting this way? Nana was with Sora at a restaurant when he leaned over and kissed her. A crimson blush piled on Nana's face.

"You didn't have to do that."

"But I wanted to."

"Damnit! You're too cute!"

_#9: When they say a famous movie line, they get an uppercut._

Ritsu had yet again saved Nana from Tei. As Nana went to hug Ritsu, Ted walked in. "He's a trap!" he shouted. Ritsu rolled his eyes. Then, he gave Ted the fiercest uppercut ever. (A/N: Poor Ted is getting beaten up with uppercuts all the time!)

"No shit Sherlock."

_#10: When you confront your feelings to your crush, and they like you back._

Nana sat with Sora on the couch. She really liked Sora. Well, more like loved. Sora didn't know her feelings for him. "Hey, Sora," Nana piped up. "I've really liked you for a while..." Nana looked at the floor. Damnit, she was going to mess this up. Suddenly, she felt Sora kiss her. "Eh?" Nana asked. "I love you too," Sora said. Then he kissed her again.

"What would I do without you?" Nana asked.

"Oh, a lot of things."

**VocaloidWriter: I hope you guys enjoyed this list! Review? I love seeing them. Like, a lot. Or maybe a follow? By the way, visit my profile for a quiz featuring Teto, Ruko, Tei, and Momo.**


	5. Watching SpongeBob

Dear Sora,

Ermahgerd. How you doing gurrrrrrrl? Wait, you're a dude.

Squidward is such an ass.

I bet the Krabby Patties taste like shit.

Plankton is like a green tit (Squidward's tit, obviously).

DAMNIT KAREN DIVORCE THAT TIT ALREADY

Mah pizza tastes like a horse's ass.

Shaddup.

Knull.

That means fuck.

Your friend,

Nana

**VocaloidWriter: Sorry! xD I made this in about ten minutes and it sucks! HATER PERSON AWARD! This is what Nana (probably) would be like if she was drunk and watching SpongeBob and texting Sora (multitasking). Review?**


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